When my oldest son was a teenager, he had a hard time meeting his Saturday night curfew time. Whenever I asked, “Why can’t you get home on time?” he was put on the defensive. An argument usually resulted.
When interviewing a customer or a prospect to find out what they want or need, a “why” question is used to get more information—to delve more deeply so you can learn all you can.
But it can also put another person unnecessarily on the defensive. This is especially true if the question is perceived as manipulative by the other person.
“Why are you buying from them?” or “Why do you set the spec up this way?” or “Why didn’t you call me for a quote?” are questions that might be perceived as trying to get the other person to “admit to something.”
Why questions are better for getting opinions or information about a third party or a situation. “Why do you think that is seen as a problem?” asked after your prospect has told you about a problem, can help you get information about the root cause.
“Why is xyz material specified rather than the more common abc material?” is asking for clarification.
“Why do you think that happens?” is asking for an opinion.
When “peeling back the onion” with a prospect try substituting the phrase, “Tell me…” for the word, “why.”
If the prospect says, “The engineering department thinks that material will be a problem,” you can say, “Tell me more about that,” instead of “Why do they think that?”
Rather
than asking, “Why didn’t you call me for a quote,” you could say, “Please tell
me what I need to do to insure that my company is always asked to submit a bid
when you make a purchase.”
It is important to find out why, and to keep asking “why-type” questions until
you are satisfied that the real answer is on the table. However, the word “why”
does not have to be used to draw out that information.
Building People to Build Business
J. Mark Walker
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